#34 - [SOLO] 8 Reasons Why You Might Be Afraid of Success

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Corey

Are you actually afraid of success?

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Corey

Why would anyone be afraid to achieve the thing they claim to want?

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Corey

On the surface, fear of success doesn't really make sense. Surely failure is worth being afraid of. Way more.

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Corey

So why would you be terrified to actually succeed?

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Corey

I'm a psychologist and a coach, and I've worked with everyone from aspiring solopreneurs.

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Corey

New York Times bestselling authors, YouTubers with millions in subscribers and revenue, seasoned CEOs.

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Corey

And eight figure founders scaling their companies even larger,

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Corey

aka people pursuing various levels of success.

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Corey

Well, fear of success is actually one of the most common topics we dive into, and this is why.

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Corey

For many people, achieving success represents loss.

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Corey

Here are eight of the most common types of loss that success represents that I consistently hear from people.

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Corey

Number one. Loss of loved one's.

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Corey

So one of the common things I hear from founders with this.

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Corey

Is they'll say, well, if I succeed at the level I know I'm capable of, my friends and family might leave me because they don't share my level of ambition. So succeeding means I will lose them because they'll leave me.

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Corey

Number two, loss of your super power.

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Corey

Another common thing I hear is, well, I've been the underdog my entire life.

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Corey

Being counted out and having to fight through adversity has fueled me.

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Corey

If I succeed, I won't be the underdog anymore.

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Corey

Which means I'll lose my competitive edge.

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Corey

Number three loss of ambition.

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Corey

I hear well, if I succeed, what's left to achieve?

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Corey

I'll have quote unquote made it and have nowhere to go but down.

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Corey

Striving is all I've ever known.

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Corey

Once I succeed, what's left to strive for?

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Corey

Number four loss of control.

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Corey

I've heard. Well, what if I become niche famous

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Corey

and people put too much stock? In my opinion.

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Corey

Power corrupts.

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Corey

And I'm afraid that success will bring too much power. And I won't be able to handle that level of influence.

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Corey

Number five loss of identity. This is what I personally struggle with for a long time.

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Corey

So for me, I grew up a poor kid. I identified as the poor kid.

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Corey

But as I pursued entrepreneurship, at a certain point, I realized I've been the poor kid my entire life.

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Corey

Well, if I succeed, I won't be the poor kid anymore.

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Corey

And if I'm not the poor kid, who am I? Success represented losing my identity.

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Corey

Number six loss of deeply held beliefs.

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Corey

Another thing I hear is people say, well, deep down I believe I am unworthy of success.

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Corey

So if I achieved it, everything I've ever known or believed will get called into question.

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Corey

I'm just not sure I can handle that.

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Corey

I don't know what life looks like on the other side of success.

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Corey

Number seven loss of creative freedom.

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Corey

So a common thing with writers, for example, I hear, is, well, if I write a bestselling book, that means that the pressure for my second book to be at least as good

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Corey

is just too much.

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Corey

What if I never write something as good ever again?

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Corey

Or what if I get stuck only being able to write about this one topic forever?

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Corey

And the last one. Number eight loss of trust and privacy.

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Corey

So I hear things like, well, if I succeed,

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Corey

I might never know if people want to get to know me, for me.

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Corey

Or if they're just trying to use me because I'm wealthy or influential.

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Corey

I'll also have to be extra careful

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Corey

that people don't find out where I live.

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Corey

Or I'll have to, like, vary my jogging routes to avoid stalkers.

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Corey

There are dozens of other like variations of success representing loss. I hear all the time.

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Corey

But the reality is that if achieving success represents losing something you care about,

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Corey

of course you'll sabotage yourself from ever achieving it.

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Corey

No matter how much you want to succeed, no matter how many productivity hacks you learn to get more done,

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Corey

no matter how many courses, books, or programs you buy to help you take action.

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Corey

Until you learn to dive into the deeply psychological, existential aspects of success.

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Corey

will continue to work hard. Gain traction.

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Corey

And then suddenly, right when you're on the edge of victory,

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Corey

back self-sabotage or in some other way, prevent yourself from fully stepping into your potential and succeeding.

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Corey

I love to tell you there's one like secret technique you can do that will magically cure your fear of success.

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Corey

But I'd be bullshitting you if I told you that. Because there's not one.

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Corey

It takes time, guidance, support, and a metric ton of introspection.

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Corey

But I do want to give you something to help you get started.

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Corey

Here's an exercise that's helped me and many of my clients over the years.

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Corey

I call it fear inoculation.

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Corey

Here's how it works.

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Corey

Step one. Assume your worst fear comes true.

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Corey

Fully fleshed out. Every excruciating detail.

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Corey

Step two. Now, with that assumption in place,

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Corey

how would you recover?

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Corey

Lay out your entire plan.

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Corey

Okay, so shit hits the fan. What do you do after shit has hit the fan?

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Corey

It's simple, but super effective.

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Corey

Because what you'll likely realize

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Corey

is that even if your worst case scenario happened, you would be way more resilient and adaptive than you're currently giving yourself credit for.

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Corey

Well, now suddenly success isn't so terrifying.

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Corey

So here's how this might look for the eight examples we talked about earlier.

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Corey

So if you lose people,

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Corey

well, maybe they were never fully with you in the first place.

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Corey

And had actually been holding you back.

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Corey

Well, realizing this,

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Corey

you'll be able to move forward and find people who get it and support your goals and your growth.

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Corey

Or let's say you lose your superpower.

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Corey

Maybe it's time to find a new fuel source that can propel you forward.

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Corey

You don't need adversity to fuel you anymore.

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Corey

So you don't need to seek out or add adversity into your life.

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Corey

Or if you lose your ambition.

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Corey

Maybe it means you'll recalibrate why you do what you do.

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Corey

Instead of striving for yourself.

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Corey

Maybe you strive to help others.

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Corey

ambition, transforms into compassion.

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Corey

Let's say you lose control and start to become corrupted by power and influence.

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Corey

Maybe it motivates you to surround yourself

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Corey

with accomplished yet humble people,

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Corey

or study philosophy to stay grounded.

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Corey

Let's say you lose your identity.

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Corey

Maybe it's a kick in the ass you needed to develop a new, more empowered identity.

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Corey

The one you've always wanted

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Corey

but never gave yourself permission to actually cultivate.

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Corey

Finally, you don't have to keep being the person you've always been.

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Corey

Because now you're finally free to become the person you've always wanted to be.

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Corey

Let's say you lose your deeply held beliefs.

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Corey

Maybe it's an opportunity to update your operating system

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Corey

with new beliefs

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Corey

that better serve you.

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Corey

Let's say you lose your creative freedom.

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Corey

Maybe it pushes you to reach out to others in a similar position to figure out how they navigated it.

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Corey

Because the thing you've overlooked with this.

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Corey

Is it by quote unquote losing this due to success?

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Corey

You've actually joined the ranks of the people who inspired you to succeed in the first place.

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Corey

Your idols just became your peers. Hit them up.

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Corey

And then finally, let's say you lose your ability to trust and your privacy.

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Corey

Maybe it means you learn how to better filter for trustworthy, genuine, authentic relationships in your life.

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Corey

Instead of letting just anyone who comes knocking in.

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Corey

now suddenly the quality of your social circle

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Corey

is higher than it's ever been.

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Corey

might also realize that losing some privacy.

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Corey

Is a worthwhile sacrifice.

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Corey

If it means having the privilege of reaching and helping people all over the world.

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Corey

See how each of these, once you've run them through my fear inoculation exercise

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Corey

isn't nearly as bad as you made it out to be.

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Corey

Once you're no longer afraid of success.

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Corey

You won't feel the need to hold yourself back from achieving it.

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Corey

Obviously, this takes time,

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Corey

right? Like if you spent 30 or 40 years of your life secretly afraid of success.

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Corey

You're not going to magically make it go away in like 20 minutes or something,

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Corey

but you will be well on your way.

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Corey

Just keep practicing introspection.

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Corey

Now, if you want to go deeper on concepts like this, I've got two ways I can help.

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Corey

One. Subscribe to the newsletter. It's where I share psychological insights to help you transform your business, your life, and yourself. Completely free.

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Corey

Just go to Creator alchemy.com to subscribe. Also put a link below.

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Corey

And two if you want more like personal support on your journey.

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Corey

I run a community for creators, founders and entrepreneurs to give people like you.

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Corey

space to connect with others on the deeply psychological, existential aspects of entrepreneurship. Because it doesn't exist anywhere else that I found.

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Corey

Because if you made it this far, you probably don't need more like business or productivity tactics, strategies, or systems. You know them all. You've memorized them all. You've bought them all. You've applied them all.

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Corey

What you probably need is the support. With the psychological side of entrepreneurship.

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Corey

So check out the community at trader McCombs lab.

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Corey

we'd love to have you. I'll put a link to that below.

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Corey

Until next time. Take it easy.