#10 - Why Self-Promotion Feels Awkward (and What to Do About It)

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 00:00

Self-promotion is critical to letting people know about your offer, but it also feels super cringy. And this cringiness causes us to avoid sharing our stuff with the world. So how do we overcome it and share the things we've created with our audience? It comes down to human psychology, specifically the intention behind why we're doing self-promotion. And there are three main reasons we do it. Here's what I mean. Intention number one, to flex.

Most of the time when we think about self-promotion, we're actually thinking about flexing. Screenshots of striped notifications, posts about how someone made six figures in a week working two hours a day, or pictures of them sipping cocktails and smoking cigars while lounging on the beach with their bros. This is super common in like entrepreneurship, solopreneurship, corners of the internet, and it's usually some mid-20s single dude.

spouting platitudes and selling social media growth guides, ghostwriting services, or some outbound sales agency that will totally help you hit 10K this month. Flexing is pointless because there's no value behind it. Your audience gains no benefit other than some cheap hits of dopamine, a la vicariously living through you and giving you an imaginary fist bump through the internet. And unless you're super arrogant and entitled, this kind of promotion will 100 % feel cringy. And it should feel cringy.

because it is cringy. So if this what you think self-promotion is, of course you're gonna avoid doing it. But there's another common reason self-promotion feels super cringy. Intention number two, to plead. If we're not arrogant and we have insecurities around self-promotion, when we actually do engage in it, it comes across as a desperate plea with our audience. Please buy this thing I worked super hard on. Only four hours left to buy this thing I spent weeks making, or if you like this content,

Please consider supporting me by becoming a patron. It really helps me pay the bills and keep doing this. This is common when creators don't really have an entrepreneurial mindset and they feel the constant need to beg for money from their audience. Pleading is actually less than pointless. It's outright harmful because people will forgive some arrogance and entitlement here and there. But if you reek of desperation, people will actively avoid you because nobody likes a stage five clinger.

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 02:21

I'm looking all over for you. gotta get out of here, Prano. I got a stage five clinger. So yes, pleading feels cringy because it is cringy for you and everyone involved. Luckily, there's a better way to approach self-promotion other than flexing or pleading with your audience. And it doesn't feel cringy. Intention number three, to inspire and help. If you do self-promotion with the intention of inspiring others or letting them know about something you created to help them, you won't feel cringy or at least not as much.

So when you share something with the intention of saying, I'm proof someone like you can succeed because I am someone like you, or you said you had this problem, here's something I made to help you, or here's what I've learned the hard way so you don't have to struggle like I did. For example, my piece called Voices of the Mountains is about when I was growing up in rural Appalachia. I never saw successful people who sounded like me. So I thought the only way to become a doctor or an entrepreneur

was to lose my accent. But over time I realized this was false and I slowly started accepting my accent and my heritage. I end the piece by basically saying, so to anyone who thinks you have to lose your accent to make something of yourself, let me introduce myself. My name's Cory, I'm a doctor, I'm an entrepreneur, and I'm from Upholer. I say y'all and no one can stop me. You can be whatever you want and you can do it.

with a country twang in your voice. The point of this piece was to inspire the next or current generation of entrepreneurs to embrace their accents, their heritage, and everything else that makes them unique. But you can also share Stripe notifications or other business wins with the intention of inspiring your audience and proving to them it's possible. Sharing real examples with the intention to help your audience overcome limiting beliefs or sharing lessons with past you

isn't cringy because you're not doing it to flex. You can also share that you have a limited time sale going on right now if it's with the intention of helping your audience take action and save money. Now you don't wreak a desperation because you're genuinely trying to help your audience. It all comes down to intention. If you believe your offer is valuable and you believe it would legitimately help your audience, then you have a responsibility to tell them about it, period. Otherwise they might never find out about it.

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 04:42

and never benefit from it. And the best way you can help them is through self-promotion. Specifically self-promotion with the intention to inspire and help them. It's not about bragging and it's not about asking for a handout. It's about genuinely sharing something that you created with the people you created it for. So the next time you start to feel cringy about self-promotion, ask yourself, what is my intention behind sharing this? Is it to flex?

Is it to plead or is it to inspire and help? If it's number three, do it and leave the cringe at the door. If you want more deep dives into psychology, online business and content creation, consider checking out the Critter Alchemy newsletter. New issues go out each week and it's completely free to join. Check out the link in the description for more. Until next time, take it easy.