The 4 Horsemen of Fear: The Most Common Limiting Beliefs Holding You Back

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 00:00

So here's the thing, a lot of people think that lack of money, resources or intelligence are what are holding them back from succeeding in life and business. But most of the time, this just isn't true. Typically it comes down to our own limiting beliefs. So as a psychologist and executive coach, I've worked with everybody from VC backed founders to bootstrapped entrepreneurs to content creators with seven figures in revenue and subscriber count. And the most common limiting beliefs they all struggle with tend to fall into one of four categories.

and what I call the Four Horsemen of Fear. Here's what they are. So all the Four Horsemen of Fear are, are the most common limiting beliefs that keep us from putting ourselves and our ideas out into the world. They keep us from succeeding. So the first one is the most common one that most people are aware of, which is fear of failure. So this horseman kind of whispers, what if I'm not good enough? What if I'm not smart enough? This probably won't work out anyway. If fear of failure keeps us from ever starting,

Right, cause like if you just assume it isn't gonna work out, why would you even try? The second horseman is fear of ridicule. And this one basically says, what will my friends and family think? How will my audience or how will my customers respond if I do this? Will other people judge me? Will they criticize me? Will they make fun of me? Will I lose their respect? Right, I especially hear this with a lot of content creators where they say, look, these are my main content buckets. These are the things that I know perform really, really well.

every time, almost to a formulaic degree. But there's this other topic over here that I've become really passionate about and I would really like to create content around this piece. But I'm afraid by putting out something on this topic, I'll end up pissing off the algorithm and then my reach will be stunted. The performance of this video and potentially subsequent videos will be negatively impacted. Or maybe you just want to start a company or maybe you want to pivot your company.

It's so easy to get so wrapped up in, well, what will other people think? How will other people respond to this? Fear of ridicule tricks us into staying small and never taking a chance because we're so afraid of how other people might respond that we never put ourselves out there, that we never do the things that resonate with us. So the rapper Nipsey Hussle has this quote that basically says, you will never be criticized by somebody doing more than you.

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 02:23

you will only ever be criticized by somebody doing less than you. So when we're thinking about, what will other people think or say, my question is always, do those opinions matter? But let's say fear of failure, fear of ridicule you have a decent handle on. Well, then the third horseman might pop up. The third horseman of fear is fear of uncertainty. And this horseman basically says, well, we're at a fork in the road. I don't know which direction is right. I need more information.

I don't have enough information to move forward, to make a decision. So then we get caught up in the cycle of analysis paralysis, of endlessly going down YouTube rabbit holes, researching, of comparing tech stacks. Should I go with this or that? What are the pros and cons of this camera versus this microphone and then this software and then this course hosting platform? What should I name the thing? Well, let me just plan out. Let me just keep theory crafting and planning things out and researching.

Because we're so afraid of making the wrong decision, we end up making no decision. Fear of uncertainty keeps us paralyzed in a constant state of over analysis. Because we end up being so afraid of making the wrong decision, we end up making no decision and stagnating. And the fourth horseman is the one that most people struggle with, but don't even realize. And this is fear of success. And you may think, wait, Cory, why would I be afraid?

to achieve the thing I claim to want. Like I say, I want this thing. Why would I be afraid to succeed at it, to achieve it? Well, fear of success holds more people back than fear of failure ever will. And there are a couple of reasons for this. One is for most of us, if you've never achieved major success, however you define success, success represents crossing a threshold of before and after. So there is the pre-success version of you, and then there is the post-success version of you.

Well, if you've never achieved major success, you don't know what that person is, who that person is. So achieving success represents becoming somebody new, somebody different, somebody foreign, somebody alien. Well, we reflexively tend to recoil from things we don't understand. So because post-success us, this post-success version of ourselves feels foreign, feels alien unknown,

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 04:44

we tend to unconsciously self-sabotage to prevent ourselves from succeeding. Another thing I hear from a lot of people is, I've been the underdog my entire life. If I succeed, I'm not the underdog anymore. I have achieved success. What if that means I lose my ambition? I lose my drive, the thing that my competitive advantage that has propelled me forward. What if it means I've peaked in life?

And then another common thing I hear from people is, just deeply believe that I don't deserve success. Or they're afraid that achieving success means they'll get corrupted by power and influence. One entrepreneur I worked with, he was like, look man, if I succeed, I could become niche famous in my industry. And I don't think that I am capable of handling that level of authority and responsibility if people put too much stock in what I say and in my opinion.

I'm afraid that it would come to that if I succeeded in a major way. So fear of success tends to cause us to abandon whatever we're doing right when we're on the edge of victory. So if you have a habit of doing really, really well up until a certain point and then right when you can kind of see the finish line, where like right when you're about to cross it, something always happens that self-sabotage kicks in or something else, some catastrophe happens, that is probably due to you, like your part. It may be fear of success.

causing those self-sabotaging behaviors. So these are the most common limiting beliefs that I see. The issue is, is you typically aren't even aware that these things are happening because they hide in self-sabotaging behaviors. So then the logical question is, okay, Cory, I understand that the Four Horsemen of Fear are out there and I recognize that I'm struggling with a couple of them. So then what do I do about it? The first step is learning to recognize how the Four Horsemen of Fear hide in your self-sabotaging behaviors.

things like procrastination, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, shiny object syndrome, things like this. And we're gonna dive into all of that in this next video. So check that out and I'll see you there.