7 Psychological Skills to Make Success Inevitable

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 00:00

So here's the thing. It's easy to think that success comes down to unfair advantages. Things like having a lot of wealth, a powerful network, or genius level intelligence. So when you don't have these things, success can feel out of reach. But what if you could make success inevitable without having any of these unfair advantages? Let's dive into the seven psychological skills you can cultivate to make success inevitable. Let's get started. The first skill is execution tempered.

with ideas. I'm 35 years old, sitting across the table at a coffee shop with an 18 year old high school senior who had just gotten rejected from an Ivy League college. And I looked at him and I said, you're inevitable. Your success is inevitable. No, I'm not his guidance counselor trying to give him a pep talk. He's somebody who I'd met online. And despite the fact that I was twice his age, he had actually inspired me to become a better version of myself. His name is Jay Yang.

So what makes a high school senior's success inevitable? Simple, Jay has cultivated the psychological skill of taking action. While most people spend all day thinking about doing the work, talking about doing the work, or theory crafting about how they're going to do the work, Jay just does the fucking work. The whole reason we were meeting him in a coffee shop was because he had skipped school in Chicago to visit Austin to celebrate Noah Kagan's book release.

Now yes, Jay has built an audience on social media and things, but he wasn't invited to Noah Kagan's book launch because he's an influencer. He was invited because he'd been working with Noah for a while. But how does a high school senior even get to work with an entrepreneur as successful as Noah Kagan? Because he has a bias toward taking action. He doesn't let fear or insecurity stop him from putting himself and his ideas out into the world.

Jay's built multiple large audiences on social media accounts and multiple newsletters. He's even interned for popular newsletter providers. So when he saw an opportunity to help Noah grow his own newsletter audience, Jay reached out to Noah and told him exactly what he could do to help him grow his audience and why Jay was the person to facilitate this growth. Now, while most people would have pitched somebody like Noah with some half-assed pitch of like, hey, I would like to work with you. Give me money.

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Jay instead said, here's my portfolio of what I've already done, what I've already built, what I've already accomplished. And here is exactly how I can help you do the same. Here is like a slide deck of exactly what I would do to help you grow, because this is exactly how I've grown my own things and grown things for other people. But Jay doesn't just blindly execute. He's constantly exploring new ideas, new projects, and new avenues for entrepreneurship.

Even in the year I've known him, he started multiple newsletters in multiple niches and built multiple micro startups. Jay's skill of constantly executing while also exploring new ideas makes his success inevitable. The next skill, audacity tempered with humility. So I get a notification in my inbox. I just got an issue of a newsletter I'd recently subscribed to. I subscribe to a lot of newsletters, but honestly,

years. In: 2021

rubbing elbows with huge names, and building a successful software company. Here's a taste of what you can expect. His recipe for virality, the smartest repurposing strategy I've seen, the best stories on the internet, humor-infused content. All that and more in this week's Deep Dive. How can you resist clicking to read the rest? Chanel's ability to hook you is unrivaled. You can't help but open every email from her. So she must be a celebrity in the newsletter space, right? Nope.

Okay, but surely she's worked on a ton of newsletters previously. Also, no. Okay, well then, so she at least has a relevant degree or has some super secret newsletter insider knowledge. Also, no. She's got a degree in like geography and did marketing campaigns for AAA. Nothing to do with newsletters. So then what qualifies her to write a newsletter about newsletter growth? And more importantly, what makes her success inevitable? Simple.

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Chanel has cultivated this psychological skill of audacity. She has the audacity to share what she learns as she learns it. She takes a permissionless approach to content, meaning she doesn't wait for somebody to give her permission to share what she learns. She just does it. She has the audacity to be a relentless researcher, easily spending 20 hours a week on every newsletter issue. But she avoids the mistake most people make.

She doesn't claim to be a newsletter growth expert because when you try to position yourself as an expert, it's really easy for the four horsemen of fear to come in for imposter syndrome to kick in, to stop you from putting yourself and your ideas out into the world. Chanel has the audacity to write about newsletter growth without being an expert, but she also has the humility to not claim to be an expert so that imposter syndrome doesn't really kick in. Instead, she highlights the expertise of others.

and what they did to succeed. But counterintuitively, this actually leads to people considering her an expert because she's collected so many case studies of what works. She's also been blogging for over a decade, but most of those other projects went nowhere. But she had the audacity to keep showing up, keep sharing, keep experimenting until her most recent project, this newsletter, Old Newsletter Growth, hit solid traction. Chanel's skill of being audacious

while also staying humble makes her success inevitable. Number three, curiosity tempered with focus. The biggest mistake most writers make is sprinting past the problem and going straight to sharing the solution. If your audience doesn't care about the problem, they won't care about your solution. If you really want your audience to care about your solution, spend most of your time framing the problem. This advice completely changed how I approach writing.

I was in a writing course led by one of my favorite modern writers and now friend, Lawrence Yeoh, when he dropped that bomb on me. Lawrence is one of the best storytellers today, period. So when I found out he had a writing course called Thinking and Stories, where he walks you through exactly how he approaches writing, I couldn't enroll fast enough. But what makes Lawrence's writing so engaging and his success inevitable? Simple, Lawrence has cultivated the psychological skill of staying curious.

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He's built his entire website more to that around exploring his curiosity. His curiosity allows him to explore new ideas, distill complex topics through storytelling, and connect with readers on a deeply human level through world building. When you read Lawrence's writing, you're reading philosophy, but it doesn't feel like you're reading philosophy. It feels like you're reading insights into your own life, your own struggles, your own wanderings about the world.

you see yourself in his writing, which is why so many people connect with him and the content he creates. If you want to resonate with others, explore your own curiosity, because chances are other people share that curiosity. But Lawrence doesn't let his curiosity turn into shiny object syndrome. While most people get caught up in trying to feed the algorithm or be on every social media platform all at the same time, or try to look and copy what everybody else is doing, Lawrence stays focused.

focused on exploring new ideas, on improving his craft, and sharing what he finds interesting along the way. Lawrence's skill of staying curious about what matters while avoiding getting distracted by what doesn't makes his success inevitable. Number four, clarity tempered with questioning. How many people do you know who would turn down a $200,000 book deal with the Big Five publisher? How many people do you know who would leave a job as a strategy consultant?

with McKenzie. How many people do you know who would get an MBA from MIT, then leave the corporate world to be a digital nomad? Paul Miller did all three. If you ever have the opportunity to take a long walk with Paul, do it. You'll come out of that conversation with a different perspective on life. So if Paul's given up so much, what makes his success inevitable? Simple, Paul has cultivated the psychological skill of clarity. See, Paul knows what he wants and more importantly, what he

doesn't want. He has his own definition of success and he pursues that instead of chasing prestige and what everybody else says you quote unquote should want to achieve. He turned down a traditional book publishing deal because he wanted to maintain complete control over his book, The Pathless Path. He knew if he sold the rights, he wouldn't be able to just give away hundreds of physical copies or give the digital download away for free or all the other guerrilla marketing tactics he has fun experimenting with.

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 09:36

just to get the book in people's hands. Like sometimes Paul will go to like South by Southwest and just throw his books in random places just so people can get it for free and pick it up. Or like as he's traveling around the world, if he stays in a hostel or a hotel or something, he'll just leave copies of the book in the room for people to find. And then he'll get a notification from some random person in Taiwan or some other country who found his book and loved it. Paul doesn't get caught up in playing status games.

or whatever mimetic bullshit is going on. He has clarity on what matters and what doesn't. And he builds his life and his business aligned with them. Even if it means leaving money on the table for more freedom. But he's not rigid about how he goes through life either. He leaves plenty of room to question what he does, his motives, his desires, his aspirations, why he does it, what's working, what isn't, and what other options could be available if he opened himself up.

to the possibility of them. Paul's skill of clarifying what truly matters while leaving room to explore new possibilities is what makes his success inevitable. Number five, generosity tempered with monetization. When was the last time you had a conversation or relationship with a fellow entrepreneur that didn't feel transactional? Where neither of you kept a mental tally of who helped who last, or you tried to calculate the

downstream lifetime value of that relationship. Transactions are part of entrepreneurship, sure, but being transactional doesn't have to be. I can't begin really to lay out how much value Justin Moore has added to my life and my business. He's proof that being transactional isn't necessary in entrepreneurship, but what makes Justin's success inevitable. Simple, Justin has cultivated the psychological skill

of generosity. Now there's a difference between faux generosity and genuine generosity. Faux generosity is when you give something but you expect reciprocation. And some people go so far as to explicitly require a quid pro quo. Genuine generosity is when you give something without asking anything in return. Of all the creators and entrepreneurs I've met, Justin Moore is one of the most genuinely generous people I've ever met.

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 12:01

In April, 2022, I DM Justin for help brainstorming how to market one of the courses I was building. Instead of ignoring me or sending a generic response or saying, hey, if you want my expertise, you have to pay me right now. Justin sent a series of in-depth personalized videos, walking me through exactly how he would approach my question. Completely free, no upsell, no ask, nothing. Over time, we developed a friendship because Justin is an amazing person.

How could you not wanna be friends with him? One day, without warning or any pressure to reciprocate, he introduced me to the team of a podcast he had just been on. I had no idea why he made the introduction or recommended they reach out to me, other than he's just a genuinely generous person. But Justin isn't generous because he's afraid of making money. In fact, one of the things that allows him to be so generous is by charging for the value he shares. Wait, how can you be generous and charge money at the same time?

Justin charges for his brand deal wizard course, where he teaches you how to land your dream sponsorships. Plus he does his own brand deals to support his business. Justin has generated millions of dollars over the years through sponsorships. And now he teaches other people how to do the same. Between his courses, his consultation, and his own negotiated brand deals, these free Justin up to share most of his stuff for free. Justin's proof you can love making money and love helping people.

and I can't help but reciprocate by recommending him, by cheering him on, and offering to help him any way that I can because I want generosity to win. I want him to win. And so do so many other people. Justin's skill of genuine generosity while also being comfortable charging money for the value he creates makes his success inevitable. Number six, rigorousness tempered with

So the personal development and psychology spaces online are full of pseudoscience and empty motivational bullshit. But Ann-Laure Lacanth has decided these are the topics she's building her business, Nest Labs, around. So what makes her success inevitable? Simple. Ann-Laure has cultivated the psychological skill of being rigorous. Not only does she publish evidence-based strategies from neuroscience research,

Corey Wilks, Psy.D. (: 14:25

through Nest Labs. She also decided to get her PhD in psychology and neuroscience from King's College London. Here's her getting a research award that highlights how rigorous she is when it comes to studying and sharing evidence-based strategies. And Laura's a real deal when it comes to actual science and proven psychological strategies to help people be more creative and productive in their lives.

Her level of rigor not only separates her content from the sea of mediocre, pseudo-scientific motivational bullshit out there, it also instills an insane amount of trust in her audience. When you read her work, you know it's backed by real evidence and data, not just the idle wanderings of a random internet influencer. But she isn't some rigidly dogmatic academic either. She balances her rigorousness with a healthy dose of.

playfulness. She leaves plenty of room to try out new ideas from other disciplines. Her article on liminal creativity is still one of my all time favorite pieces. Even though I've been a psychologist for years and I've been studying it for over 16 years, I'm constantly learning new things from Ann Lohr. Ann Lohr's skill of striving to be rigorous while leaving room to be playful makes her success inevitable. Number seven, alignment tempered with

hardship. So I'm sitting at a different coffee table talking to a different entrepreneur. A podcaster named Danny Miranda. And at the end of the conversation, Danny says, this is a great man, but I've got to head out. I'm training for a marathon and I have to run seven miles today. Danny and I met for coffee around like 10 AM. He'd been up since around six, meditated for an hour, journaled, researched and prepared for some of his upcoming podcast interviews. Then he and I hung out for a couple hours. Then he was going to prep for his first marathon.

Then he was gonna go about the rest of his actual day. Danny's a machine. But beyond his obvious discipline, what makes Danny's success inevitable? Simple, Danny has cultivated the psychological skill of alignment. When I was sitting around talking to Danny, I asked him, what is your next thing? What are you going to work on? His answer was the podcast. He was singularly focused on making the best podcast, on being the best interviewer.

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and being the best researcher out there. He wasn't thinking about the next thing after the podcast. He was focused on that one thing and everything that aligned with it. Danny fully aligns his actions and his intentions. And he does the work that feels effortless to him, meaning he does what he can't not do. He focuses on building his life and business around the work he feels compelled to do.

Danny fundamentally loves having deep conversations with people, connecting with people. So he's built his life and his business to be aligned with doing those things. But Danny doesn't only do things that feel effortless. He also practices self-imposed hardship. He does hard shit all the time. Meditating daily for years, waking up early to run, doing marathons, pushing through fatigue to do back to back to back intense interviews.

No one would describe Danny's day as easy, but easy and effortless aren't the same thing. Danny lives his purpose and he keeps his days aligned with doing meaningful purpose-driven work that fulfills him. Danny's also better at building rapport and a sense of psychological safety than 99 % of the psychologists I know who've had a decades plus of training. He's living aligned and it shows. Danny's skill of keeping his actions aligned with his intentions.

while also practicing self-imposed hardships, make his success inevitable. Notice how none of these psychological skills have anything to do with how much you make, how powerful your network is, or requires a genius level of intelligence. Anyone can cultivate the execution and idea exploration of Jay, the audacity and humility of Chanel, the curiosity and focus of Lawrence, the clarity and questioning of Paul, the generosity and monetization of Justin, the rigorousness and

playfulness of Anne Lohr and the alignment and self-imposed hardship of Danny, as long as you're willing to put in the work. You can make success inevitable by practicing any of these psychological skills, but if you stack them, you significantly increase your odds. Every person I highlighted today practices each of these skills, but they especially embody, at least to me, one more than the others. Whatever you consistently practice, you improve.

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practicing these psychological skills, you're improving skills that inexorably move you closer towards success. That's how you make success inevitable. That's how you become inevitable. one more thing. Before you put in all this work to make success inevitable, check out the hidden cost of success to understand why so many quote unquote successful people end up miserable and how you can avoid joining them. Because most people are aware of the initial

cost of success, which is the price you pay to achieve success. But there is a second hidden cost of success that if you are unaware of can lead to you becoming miserable despite also being successful. So check that out to learn more. Until next time, take it easy.